Same View, Different Perspective

View from my rocker

The View from my Living Room Recliner

(Written in June 2012)

Four years ago around this time, I sat in this chair, gazed out this window at the same building with a newborn girl in my arms. The circumstances are all very similar, but everything about my outlook has changed.

Four years ago I was rocking a child, healing from a c-section. While I fell madly in love with my baby, I felt like I was missing out. I had been making fast growth at work and had left on maternity leave when some big things were coming together. Deals I had been waiting to close for months were finally coming to fruition and I was left out. To make matters worse, I was copied on every email regarding the big deal that was about to close. Having led the project up to that point, it made sense to be copied on emails, but I got all of the emails on my Blackberry which I set on the arm of the recliner. I checked it continuously as I sat with my baby, gazing out the window, wishing I was at work instead of at home.

Four years later the curtains are different. The Blackberry is now an iPhone. Obviously the baby is different- my second child. The view out my window is the same, but my outlook has changed.

Genevieve was born miraculously healthy. She had been diagnosed with a condition when I was about twenty weeks along in my pregnancy and the prognosis was not good.

I was devastated. We desperately wanted another baby and had miscarried prior to this pregnancy. I realized I had completely taken my first child for granted in every way. And the job I so anxiously wanted to  be at turned out to not be something I wanted for the long term.

Now as I sit here, not checking my iPhone, I can’t help but think about my shift in priorities. I was given a situation and health scare that I would never want to relive, but am glad that I could come out on the other side with a happy, healthy baby and with a new perspective.

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